How to Text Women After a Date (So She Chases You)

You go on a great date. She laughs. She leans in. You both have momentum. The next morning you feel that itch to text something sweet just to “keep it going.”  I don’t.  And I suggest you don’t either in these situations.

As I show in the video, “I don’t respond.”  Not because I’m cold—because this is where she learns the dynamic. “She had a great time with me. She wants to hear from me… but she also has to learn. And now she’s going to learn to chase me.” This post is the exact breakdown of how I text day-of and after a date so she invests first—and keeps investing.

Watch below: How to Txt Women After a Date (Text Examples)

Free On-Demand Class: If you want my full messaging framework for post-date momentum, watch The Art of Texting Women. It shows you how to keep frame, calibrate replies, and move things forward without overstepping.
👉https://textingprince.com/masterclass

Problem Context — Post-Date Texting Is Where Most Guys Overstep

Guys think, “She wants to chat with me.” She probably does. But as I breakdown in the video, “I don’t overstep.” If she doesn’t make it easy to reply, I don’t force it.

When you chase here, you tell her you need the connection more than she does. That kills the dynamic you earned on the date.  This is an underlooked but important understanding of women… she NEEDS to look up to you to love and respect you longterm. 

When you ‘chase’ a woman, she gets the feeling that you ‘need’ her more than she needs you… which makes her subtly look DOWN on you.  Which means it is just a matter of time before she starts seeing you as more of a ‘friend’ than a ‘lover’.

If timing trips you up, here’s [when to text her back (mirror texting strategy)]—so you don’t overstep and kill the fun and thrill of ‘the chase’ that all women need for high-level attraction..

Key Principles (Straight from the Video)

1) Day-of-date: let her reach out first

“I always try to have that come from her.”
If I text “Are we still on?” she feels the power shift. I prefer she’s the one who checks in.

2) Confirm with playful boundaries, not neediness

She texted, “Meet you there at 9.” My reply:

“Sure, sure. If you’re late, you are buying 😉”
Light, confident, sets a frame without begging for reassurance.

3) After the date: she opens, I keep it light

“Day after… I let women text me.”
If she says, “I had fun last night 😊 Thanks for a great time” I keep the reply short and if I can, make some playful inside joke from our date.  For an example the response I might send is something like “Me too… even though a clumsy girl spilled alllll over me.”  (In the instance she may have slightly spilled her drink on me at some point in the night).  But I don’t TRY to drum up conversation that isn’t there.  Then I stop replying unless she makes it easy to continue.

4) If she doesn’t make it easy to reply, I don’t

“There’s no reason to need to reply.”
Low-effort or closed-ended texts get space. She’ll come back in with more effort if she has the space and time and ‘miss you’.  .

5) My response times and effort create perception

“I’m constantly creating this perception… by my response times.”
I’m busy. My energy stays measured. That’s how the frame stays masculine.

Texting is an art and a skill - one that you CAN get better at, like calibrating your response times—and learning to [stay a little unpredictable over text]—so a woman leans into your connection and conversation instead of leaning away, disinterested and ready to set her eyes on another guy.

Real Conversation / Example Breakdown

Context: We planned 9:00 p.m. She reaches out first:

“I’m going to swing by home… meet you there at 9.”
Me: “Sure, sure. If you’re late, you are buying 😉.”
Her: “Hope the drinks are cheap then… I’m the chronically 5 minutes late type.”
She shows up early:
“Just parked… 4 minutes early… see you soon.”
Me: “Nice. I’ll be there in 2 minutes.”

Next morning (she opens):

“I had fun last night 😊 hope you slept well.”
Me (light, inside joke): “Thank you. I sure did. Enjoy your old co-workers hitting on you.”
Her: “Haha, enjoy the second graders.”
She didn’t make it easy to continue. I don’t reply.

Later she pushes again with a longer update (gummy bears / meeting antics).
Me (hours later, low effort): “I want gummy bears.”
She comes back with “I want pizza and a nap.” Closed end. I don’t reply.

Next day she opens again about a show (“women tell all”).
Me (2 hours later): “No, not yet. So don’t spoil it.”
She replies she’s watching it now and won’t spoil. Closed end. I don’t respond.
Next day: she pings “hey 🙂” — the chase is on.

Why this works: I don’t try to “drum conversations up.” I “do just enough.” When she doesn’t make it easy, I leave space. That’s how she learns to invest.

Common Mistakes to Avoid (All called out in the video)

Key Takeaways & Next Steps

• Day-of: Let her ping first. When she does, confirm with light boundaries (e.g., “If you’re late, you’re buying 😉”).
  

• Day-after: She opens, you keep it short (inside joke is perfect).
  

• No easy reply? Don’t reply. She’ll come back with more.
  

• Your timing = your frame. Response times and effort level are how you communicate status.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Who should text first after a date?
A: Let her open. When she does, you reply short and specific—inside joke beats a paragraph.

Q: How long should I wait to text after the date?
A: Mirror her tempo. Your response time should be a beat slower than hers. Timing communicates frame better than any line. Again my philosophy is to let HER reach out first after a date. If she doesn't, I would still wait 1 week to get her a chance to reach out, and after 1 week you could text her and feel out her energy.

Q: What do I say if she texts “I had fun 😊”?
A: One light line that nods to the date (or an inside joke), then stop unless she makes it easy to continue. For instance I might reply with "Me too, hopefully your 3rd graders are taking it easy on your hangover". In the context that this woman was a 3rd grade teacher and her and I drank the night before on the date.

Q: What if she doesn’t text the next day?
A: Don’t force it. Remember you must give her a chance to start 'chasing' you by being disciplined. If a week goes by and she never reached out, now you could try to text her first.

Q: Should I keep chatting all day after the date?
A: No. Absolutely not. Do just enough. Long back-and-forth the next day reads needy and kills the pull you built in person. The MORE you text a woman, the LESS excitement she has to actually meet up with in person. The idea is you constantly keep her engaged with your texting by being unavailable and mysterious, and then the woman misses you and starts 'chasing' after you to get to see you again. If you need to say no without drama, read how to set boundaries over text.

🚀 Want the full system for post-date momentum?

Inside Texting School I break down real chats, response timing, and how to move from first date to “she’s chasing” without overstepping.
👉 https://textingprince.com/school

Prefer personalized help? Book a free1-on-1 coaching call and we’ll sit down and talk strategy.  And if we both think it’s a good fit, we can explore a coaching package for you to transform your dating life in a fraction of the time with a personalized plan customized for you and your unique situation. 
👉https://textingprince.com/coaching

Talk soon,
Adam Jordan

(Founder, TextingPrince — teaching men to message with masculine precision since 2016)