Man confidently using dating app while waiting for her to reply first

How to Stop Chasing Women on Dating Apps (And Make Them Chase You Instead)

October 22, 2025•6 min read

Every guy knows the feeling—you're messaging a woman you like, and she seems into it... until she isn't.

Suddenly, she’s replying slower, shorter, colder.
You start wondering, “What did I say wrong?” or worse—“Should I double text her?”

Most men chase women because they think it’s what they’re supposed to do. But in reality, the moment you start chasing, you flip the frame—and she stops investing.

In this video, I break down a real dating app conversation where I did the exact opposite.
Instead of chasing, I made her earn my attention. And what happened next? She started chasing me.

“How to Stop Chasing Women on Dating Apps (And Make Them Chase You Instead)”]

When it comes to dating apps, timing, tone, and energy are everything.
If you want to stop being the guy who overtexts, overthinks, and overinvests,
you’ll love my free video masterclass— 👉 The Art of Texting Women where I show you how to create effortless attraction through texts without playing guessing games.

The Problem: Most Men Give Too Much Too Soon

Men think the goal is to get a reply. But that mindset turns texting into chasing.

You start validating, overexplaining, and sending too much energy her way.
When she doesn’t match that effort, you feel rejected—and that emotion leaks through every message.

The fix?
Flip the dynamic.
Make her earn your time, attention, and humor.

That’s exactly what I did in this conversation from the video above.

The Breakdown: Real Dating App Chat Example

A woman named Rebecca matched with me on an app.
We had a light connection, but instead of chasing her energy, I tested her interest.

I waited almost a full day before replying.

These aren't just 'silly games' —
This is psychology and human nature. We like and appreciate scarcity.
When a woman has a chance to breathe between your messages, she has a chance to MISS YOU.

She didn’t vanish.
She sent follow-ups.

That’s the first sign of attraction most men miss.
By spacing out the time between your texts, you also can start READING a woman's true interest level by noticing her replies getting 'quicker' and 'quicker'.

Texting Like a Poker Player

When I finally replied, I used curiosity instead of compliments.

I said something like,

“I have a really important question…”

That single line made her lean in.
She replied pretty quickly (within 20 minutes).

Then I waited until the next afternoon with a light, funny question:

“What’s your favorite Disney movie and why?”

She laughed, answered, and kept the energy going.

That’s the secret to unpredictability—
mixing serious framing with playful follow-up.

You’re creating curiosity between messagse.

(For more on the psychology of timing your replies, read When to Text Her Back (Mirror Texting Rule).)

High-Status Texting = Patience + Precision

Here’s the truth:

High-status men don’t rush.
They don’t try to “win her over.”
They watch, they read, they adapt.

That’s where mirror texting comes in.

Match her energy, timing, and message length.
If she’s fast, you can be medium.
If she slows down, you slow down even further.

It’s not about games—it’s about calibration.

This tells her, “I’m not chasing your pace, I’m setting the standard.”

Opportunity Texting: When to Move Off the App

When she texted, “nvm nvm”—that was a moment of frustration and emotion.

That’s when I transitioned off the app.

Why?

Because emotion = connection.

That’s the moment to make things more personal:

“I'm not good at checking this thing. Text me instead—(give your phone number).”

You’re not begging for her number.

You’re inviting her to earn more of your attention.

It’s confident, controlled, and smooth.

(If you want to see strategy on how to open women on dating apps too, check out How to Open Women on Dating Apps Using Prompts.)

Why This Works

Women communicate covertly.

They test your emotional control every step of the way.

If you react with neediness, you fail the test.
If you stay patient and grounded, you pass—and her attraction spikes.

You’re not ignoring her.
You’re showing you have options, standards, and emotional control.

That’s what women find magnetic.

Key Takeaways

✅ Test her interest before giving your attention.
✅ Delay responses strategically to create scarcity and value.
✅ Use curiosity setups (“I have a really important question...”) to spark engagement.
✅ Mirror her timing and tone to show awareness and confidence.
✅ Move the conversation off the app when the emotional window opens.
✅ Always let her earn the next step.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How long should I wait before replying on dating apps?
A: There’s no magic number, but if she’s taking hours, mirror it. If she replies fast, keep a calm rhythm. The key is not appearing too eager. My general rule is wait at least 10 minutes between every message (if she is responding quickly). If she takes longer than that, than always wait at least as long as she took before messaging her back.

Q: What if she stops responding after I delay my reply?
A: Then she wasn’t that interested. You didn’t lose anything—you just saved your time. The right woman will stay curious. If a woman is making you do ALL the work in the early stages of messaging her, just imagine how difficult it'll be to set up a date with her.

Q: When should I ask for her number?
A: Look for a spike in emotional tone—when she laughs, teases, or gets frustrated (“nvm nvm”). That’s when she’s most engaged. I want to see a woman double messaging me, or consistently replying FAR quicker to my messages than I am replying to hers, and then I know she's ready to get off the dating app and onto the texting stage.

Q: Should I tease women in every message?
A: No—balance it. Teasing builds attraction, but too much can feel like defense. Mix playfulness with grounded, masculine calm.

Q: What if she seems to have all the power in the conversation?
A: That’s an illusion. The moment you stop chasing, the power resets. Stay patient—your calm energy is what pulls her in. Power games can be won or lost at anytime... they are constantly in motion. BUT - if the power gets too far on her side, she will just lose interest and keep you in the 'friend zone'... or she will just ghost you entirely.