Most guys on dating apps are doing the EXACT same thing. They match with a girl, fire off a paragraph-long opener, reply in 30 seconds flat, and then sit there refreshing their phone wondering why she never responded.

I used to be that guy. And it took me years of trial, error, and sitting with attractive women who'd literally show me their dating app matches to realize — everything I thought worked was actually working AGAINST me.

So let me walk you through a real conversation I had with a girl named Nicole on Bumble — from her first message all the way to getting her phone number — and show you exactly which principles were in play at every step of the way.

🎬 Watch the full video How to Get Her Number on Bumble below:

She Messaged Me First (And Why That Already Matters)

Nicole opened with a playful message: "Hey Adam! ex teacher? after this week I want to be one too 😊"

Not a bad start from her. She was emotional, playful, and she initiated. Right there — before I even typed a single word — we already had a principle in play.

In my system, I call this part of Mirror Texting. When a girl opens YOU first, she's already putting more effort into the conversation than you are. That's the starting position you WANT. She's investing first. She's showing energy. She's telling you that she swiped for a reason.

Now — did it always happen like this for me? No. It took a long time before I crafted my bio and pictures well enough to get women consistently messaging me first, even on Tinder. So if you're at the stage where you're opening most conversations, that's fine. But here's the lesson: when YOU open, keep it short. The biggest mistake guys make is cramming everything into one massive opener. That works completely OPPOSITE. It works against you.

If you want to see exactly how to open women on apps the right way, I break down real openers in How to Open Women on Dating Apps Using Prompts.

The One Move That Changes Everything on Dating Apps

Here's the part you can't see in screenshots — the timing. This entire conversation with Nicole happened over multiple DAYS. Not hours. Days.

I never replied quicker than she did. Not once.

When she sent that first message? I replied the next day. And I know what you're thinking — "On dating apps girls have so many matches that if you don't reply right away you'll fall to the bottom of her queue."

That is a very non-confident way to think about it. And it's a bunch of crap.

Here's what ACTUALLY happens — and I know this because I sit with attractive women all the time, and they'll literally show me their Bumble. When a guy messages back right away, they scroll past him. They almost look the opposite direction. They scroll through their matches looking for the guys that HAVEN'T replied yet and go, "Hmm… why didn't he message me back?" And then they re-read the conversation. They look at what they said. They start THINKING about it.

That's where the magic is. When she starts thinking.

Replying slow does something most guys don't realize — it builds comfort. She goes, "This guy is not going to stalk me. He's not clinging to every word I say. He's not going to be around his phone all day." And THAT makes her think, "This is actually a guy I might meet up with in person."

That's the biggest principle in this entire breakdown. If you're wondering how long to wait before responding, I go deep on the timing framework in How Long Should You Wait to Text Her Back.

Reading Between the Lines (And Letting Her Talk)

Nicole obviously had a rough week. So when she vented a little, instead of asking something boring like "How was your day?" I just said: "Haha uh oh what happened?"

Three words. That's it.

And she opened up: "I work with autism and I got a couple nice scratches to the face."

Notice — she answered my question, but she didn't ask me anything back. Most guys would panic here. "The conversation's dying! I need to keep it going! Let me ask her four questions!"

Nope. Instead I said: "Yikes I would have saved the day if I was there :)"

That little phrase right there is the difference between being just another match and being the guy she actually REMEMBERS. If I had said, "Oh I'm sorry about that, how was your week?" — that's noise. That's the same thing every other guy on Bumble says. It goes in one ear, out the other, and puts her straight into autopilot zombie mode.

But "I would have saved the day if I was there" — that's playful. That's different. That snaps her OUT of autopilot and makes her go, "Wait, this one's actually interesting."

This is what I teach in Texting School as breaking her out of autopilot. You want to avoid boring, predictable questions that she's answered a thousand times. Instead, inject something unexpected that engages her emotions. If you want more strategies for stopping boring dating app conversations, check out that full breakdown.

Two Words That Took More Confidence Than a Paragraph

She played along with my "save the day" comment and said: "Oh yeah, superhero?"

Three words. She went short. So what did I do?

I went shorter: "Prince Charming*"

Two words. That's it. No follow-up question. No paragraph explaining myself. No "haha yeah I wish" or any of that weak stuff.

She said, "Oh yeah, superhero?" and I said, "Prince Charming*" And I communicated ALL of that in fewer words than she used. Because women can read between the lines. The less you say, the better.

Now, could that have killed the conversation? Sure. She might not have replied because I gave her nothing to respond to. And that's exactly where the mindset comes in — what I call Fire-and-Forget. You send the text, and you move on. You don't sit there refreshing, panicking, wondering if you should double text. You fire it and forget it.

I never would have done that in the past. I used to think if she sent me three words, the conversation was dying and I had to rescue it by sending her a novel. And THAT is what killed my conversations. The old mindset was completely backwards.

Emotional Endurance: Why "It's Always a Good Week"

Eventually she asked: "ahh well how was your week?"

My answer: "It's always a good week. You dressing up for Halloween?"

That might sound simple, but there's a deep principle behind it. I call it Emotional Endurance — being bigger than your problems.

Here's the reality. Everyone wants to complain. You had a flat tire? You want to tell somebody. Something annoying happened at the grocery store? You want to vent. Turn on the news — it's just negativity everywhere. You could be the same as everyone else by dumping your problems on her.

But if you have emotional endurance? You just go, "Whatever. Life goes on. No big deal. It's all good." You stay STEADY.

Women want the steady guy. Not the emotional one that goes up and down based on what happened today. Think about it from a prehistoric perspective — if you're in a cave and a saber-toothed tiger shows up, are you going to be the guy that panics and loses it? Or are you going to be the guy that says, "Bring it on"?

THAT'S the emotional steadiness that makes women feel safe and comfortable around you. And it shows up in small moments like this. When she asks how your week was — it's always good. Life is good. That shows you're a secure man who is confident in his life.

Knowing When to Make Your Move

Then she mentioned being Blair from Gossip Girl for Halloween. And honestly? I don't know anything about Gossip Girl. The conversation was starting to stall. And right here is where most guys force it. They try to keep the conversation alive by asking more generic questions — and it just dwindles into nothing.

Instead of forcing it, I tested her interest. I spotted the opportunity and said:

"Text me I'm not good at checking this app" — and dropped my number.

That one text weaved ALL five principles together:

Fire-and-Forget — I said it confidently. Not "you could text me if you want" or "do you want to maybe text instead?" Just — text me. Short. Direct. No hesitation.

Mirror Texting — I kept it short. Matched her effort level.

Poker Player Texting — I read the pattern. She was replying fast. I was replying slow. I knew she was interested. But I could FEEL the conversation starting to go downhill if I sent a couple more messages.

Autopilot Texting — Moving from Bumble to her actual phone breaks the autopilot. It's new scenery. New platform. It snaps her out of the routine of swiping through matches.

Opportunity Texting — I seized the moment right before the conversation dipped too far. You want to hit these windows at exactly the right time.

And it only worked because of the timing I set up throughout the ENTIRE conversation. Because I was replying slow the entire time, when I said "I'm not good at checking this app" — she BELIEVED it. My behavior matched my words.

If you're a guy who replies to everything instantly and THEN says "I don't check this app" — that's incongruent. She can't trust it. She goes, "He's obviously lying to get my number."

The Result

Then my phone buzzed: "Hey Adam its Nicole how's your night going"

That's it. We went from Bumble — where she's seeing me alongside every other match — to her personal phone, where it's just me and her. That's a MUCH better playing field.

This conversation wasn't magical. It wasn't some perfectly crafted script. It was a normal, even slightly boring conversation that WORKED because of the principles behind it. Text less, but text strategically. Every message means more when you're not flooding her with 47 of them.

FAQ

Is it really okay to wait a full day to reply on Bumble?

Yes. And here's why — when you reply instantly, you signal that you have nothing better to do. Women on dating apps are FLOODED with instant replies. The guys who wait? They stand out. Women literally scroll through their matches looking for the guys who HAVEN'T replied yet. That's the guy she starts thinking about. Slow replies build comfort and intrigue.

What if the conversation gets boring on a dating app?

That's exactly when you stop trying to force it and make your move. Don't keep asking generic questions hoping something sticks. If the conversation hits a lull, use that moment to transition — give her your number and move to texting. Changing platforms breaks the autopilot and resets her attention. The worst thing you can do is keep texting into a dead-end conversation. Just remember, you must be following Mirror Texting Timing to make sure you are replying slower than her before trying this move... otherwise you look too eager trying to 'rush' getting her phone number.

How do I know when to ask for her number?

Read the patterns. If she's replying quickly but the conversation topics are running dry, that's your window. You want to ask BEFORE it flatlines — not after. If you wait too long, the conversation dies and your ask feels desperate. If you time it right, it feels natural and confident.

What if she doesn't text me after I give her my number?

Then she wasn't interested enough. And that's FINE. That's the Fire-and-Forget mindset. You made your move, you sent it with confidence, and you moved on. You didn't beg, you didn't double text, you didn't send a follow-up saying "did you get my number?" The right woman will text you. And the ones who don't? They saved you time.

Want to Master the Art of Texting Women?

If you want the full breakdown of all 5 principles, grab my free strategy video — The Art of Texting Women Masterclass. It's the best place to start.

And if you want the complete system — every principle, every strategy, real examples like this one broken down step by step — join Texting School: Messaging Mastery. It's the entire texting system where I teach the full framework from the ground up.

See ya on the next one.

-Adam Jordan
Founder of TextingPrince