The majority of men in the world do two things completely incorrectly when they message women:

1. They over-communicate.
2. They give unnecessary, cheap compliments.

If you watch the mainstream media or read standard dating tips, they tell you: “Tell her your feelings, communicate more, validate her.”

That is a one-way ticket to the friend zone.

Today, we are taking a realism pill. I am walking you through a real Bumble conversation I had with a girl named Andrea to show you the exact mechanics of how to play the game, hold your frame, and pull her off the app in under ten messages.

🎥 Watch full video: Stop Over-Communicating on Dating Apps Below:

Mirror Texting: Less Effort, Higher Status

Andrea opened me on Bumble with a simple: “hey”

Now, think about what most guys (the simps) do here. They see a "hey" and they flood her inbox with paragraphs, questions, and eager statements. They do all the heavy lifting.

Why? Because they are terrified of losing her attention.

But by doing all the work, you teach her that she has to do ZERO work. It places you in a low-status position.

So how did I respond? I sent a simple giphy of a little fox waving.

I literally got away with saying LESS words than she did.

This is the core rule of mirror texting. You look at what she gives you, and you strategically do slightly less. You write less words, take longer to reply, and keep your emotional investment lower. Biology-wise, women are naturally more social and talkative. When a man over-communicates, he is perceived as feminine—just another one of her girlfriends to gossip with.

If you want to master this rule, read my post on Stop Chasing Women on Dating Apps.

The Compliment Trap: The Plus-Two Reward Frame

Andrea replied with a Little Mermaid waving giphy and said: “you have a great smile :)”

Quiz time. How do you reply?

Take a moment to think what you would say before reading on...

The average guy immediately fires back a compliment: “Thanks! You're gorgeous!” or “Thanks, you have beautiful eyes!”

Do NOT do this.

When you over-compliment a woman, it can psychologically destroy your chances at a decent relationship. I know that sounds backwards but women are built to look for the highest status man she FEELS she can lock down (this is a simple summary of hypergamy in women).

When you over-compliment a woman her internal hypergamy says: “Okay, I already have this guy locked down. Now let me keep looking for a higher-status option.”

Now I understand if you are reading this and are newer to the idea of 'game' or biological psychology, this can sound harsh. I don't want you to take this the wrong way to mean you can NEVER compliment a woman... but there are ways to do it that women will appreciate way more, which I will continue to cover in other blog posts.

Instead of complimenting her back, I used the reward frame. I replied:

“plus two points for being sweet :)”

This does two things:
1. It acknowledges the compliment without cheapening my value or complimenting her back.
2. It actively conditions her behavior. Modern dating culture teaches women to be rude, entitled, and try to boss men around. By saying “+2 points for being sweet”, I am letting her know that I value sweetness and respect, and I am rewarding her for it.

If you want to know more about how to set these frames early, read How to Open Women on Dating Apps Using Her Profile (Real Examples).

Building Intrigue & Getting the Phone Number

Right after the +2 points, I added: “tell me a secret Andrea”

This creates immediate mystery and shifts the focus from her looks to her investment.

She replied: “I've always wanted to go skydiving”

The next day, I replied: “are you going to take me with?”

Again, notice the subtext. I'm not begging her for a date. I'm casually assuming we are going to do things together, which communicates massive confidence and frame control.

She immediately replied: “yeah for sure let's go haha”

Because she replied instantly and showed high interest, I skipped the small talk and went straight for the phone number:

“you should text me Andrea. I'm bad at checking this thing” + my number.

And she texted me right away.

Why is this crucial? Because talk is cheap on dating apps. By pulling her off Bumble, I am no longer in her inbox competing with Chad, Tyrone, Enrique, and Felipe. It's just me and her on her private phone messages.

But don't get the wrong idea and RUSH getting her phone number or it'll feel needy and desperate, the idea is once you can feel a woman is curious about you and starting to get more excited to message you (which I go over multiple signs in other blog posts), then move it off the dating app to texting or to setting up a date. And with this Andrea girl I knew I had her curiosity peaked so it worked to get the number this early.

Learn the exact steps to transition off the app in Get Her Number on Dating Apps.

Dating App Messaging Rules to Follow

1. Say Less Than She Does: Mirror her word count and effort, but always keep yours slightly lower.
2. Never Compliment Her Back Automatically: Acknowledge her compliments with a reward frame, not reciprocal flattery.
3. Move Off the App At the Right Moment: Don't spend months sending digital pen-pal messages. When the opportunity is right (meaning you can tell she is hooked and intrigued about getting to know you) then move it off dating apps to phone number or a date.
4. Use GIFs Strategically: A simple animated GIF is a great way to reply with zero verbal effort.

Frequently Asked Questions About How to Message Girls on Dating Apps

Q: Why is over-communicating on dating apps bad?
A: It makes you look feminine and desperate. Women talk way more than men naturally, so when you flood her inbox, you kill the mystery and signal that you have no other options or ambition.

Q: Should I compliment a woman's photos in my first few messages?
A: No. She already knows you're interested because you matched. Complimenting her looks right away is boring, kills the chase, and signals low value.

Q: How do I get her number without sounding needy?
A: Wait until she replies eagerly or shows high interest, then casually state that you're bad at checking the app and give her your number. It puts the ball in her court and maintains your high-status frame.

Master the Art of Online Dating

If you want to stop getting ghosted on Bumble and Tinder and learn how to make women chase you, the dating app blueprint is laid out inside the VIP Prince Bundle.

Or, if you want me to look over your profile and your messages to fix your game in real-time, book a private 1-on-1 coaching session with me here: TextingPrince Coaching.

-Adam Jordan
Founder, TextingPrince